The boring hair scare

The poll was called, the votes were counted and the results are final. I officially have “boring hair”.

Two days after lopping off two summers’ worth of foppish mop, my beloved colleagues presented the petition to me.

‘Sam’s hair has taken a turn for the BORING,’ it said in large letters up the top, with ‘boring’ written in caps just to emphasise the point.

Well happy fucking birthday to me.

At work, the top 3 list of things I am known for are colourful socks (compensating dull personality), long lunch breaks (compensating short breakfast) and big hair, which compensates for nothing.

My work ethic, professionalism, and ability to sit still without fidgeting were surely items 4,5 and 6 on the list.

The petition, signed by such hair luminaries as Tina Turner, Winnie the Pooh, Phil Spector (obviously phoned in from his jail cell) and God Himself, landed on my desk at 10.30.

At 11.00, the boss called me over. I took the petition with me. “Is it about the petition?” I asked her when I had taken a seat next to her desk. “I notice your name is not on it.”

She forced a smile.

“Actually, I received a complaint about you from a client.”

“Oh,” I responded. “Well if it’s about the new hair cut, he should just have signed the petition like everybody else.”

These hair gurus have lost faith in my fringe

These hair gurus have lost faith in my fringe.


Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: