Questionable fashion leaves plenty to reflect upon

maitresse

When he was 17, my brother made a speech to his class about pick-up lines.

The substance of the speech consisted of “Ladies and Gentlemen” followed by a long list of cheesy lines that would never work, except in the mind of an untested 17-year-old (believe me, I was still trying them at 22 and they still weren’t working).

One line that stood out for its sheer impracticality, was: “Is that a mirror in your pants?”

“What?”

“Because I can see myself in them.”

To which the answer would invariably be: “What? Fuck. Off.”

But I now know this line has come of age.

I know this because I’ve had a heavy week of reflection: namely because everywhere I look, people’s clothes have been looking right back. I’m talking about people wearing mirror balls. People are wearing mirror balls for clothing!

I went to London, and at the bar, a friend of Nick’s was wearing a dress that consisted entirely of mirror pieces. “I’m not coming on to you, but I can see myself in your skirt,” I ventured.

“What? Fuck. Off.”

“No, really. And now I can also see Nick in your skirt,” I added for good measure, and it was true.

Then at work yesterday, I sat down at my desk, only to realise I was sitting opposite to a giant mirror ball! My colleague was wearing a top that consisted entirely of small reflective sequins.

Courtesy of YoYo

Courtesy of YoYo

I immediately sent out an e-invitation to everyone at the office: Disco, my desk, 12:30.

It was a bold item of clothing, perhaps a little early to be wearing before the year 2080, or at least 10:30am.

“I’ve been eye-raped,” complained the office graphic designer.

“It’s alive!” shrieked the accountant, “Alive!!”

He had mistaken it for the “world’s largest mirror ball,” a 7-metre wide installation that had been suspended 50 metres above the Luxembourg Gardens on the weekend for the Nuit Blanche celebration.

Perhaps more striking than the top, was the fact no-one commented on it*.

When you go out on an extreme, be it with clothing or a haircut, you expect to receive some comments. To receive no comments, is just as bad as to receive bad ones!

And when when the item in question is a sleeve length mirror, then that must be just a little shattering.

*It was much like the other day when an African albino turned up to my house, and I wasn’t quite sure how to “act normal” At the very least, i didn’t cut him into small parts and use him for herbal medicine. In fact, he told me later that he really enjoyed himself.

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One Response to “Questionable fashion leaves plenty to reflect upon”

  1. Yoyo Says:

    I’m still wearing my sunglasses… Just in case!! i’m too scared now!!!
    Tx m8 for this hilarious post!! 😉

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