I am the human Google

Some people might consider it the height of arrogance to compare oneself to Google…but hear me out, I think I have a rather compelling case.

Let’s start with a question: What is the second most practical use for the Internet behind looking up your classmates from 10 years ago and laughing at their families?

I propose it to be answering obscure questions. What is a caper? Which one of out Sigfried and Roy did their pet tiger haul off stage by the scruff of the neck and maul to the delight of the enchanted audience? What happened to Bubbles the chimp?

Secondly, how do we research using the Internet? By entering approximate key terms relating to the story – the briefest possible summary of a story – and other limiters such as a date or there abouts.

Then it’s simply click and the answers are “pickled flower bud”, “Roy”, and “not sure, but he wasn’t at Michael’s funeral“.

So, would Mr Google be fun to have at a party? Would he regale the crowd with his stories of laughter, humour and the human condition, gleaned from his daily trawlings of the more than 1 billion web pages dedicated to news, sport, religion and the weather?

No, because in this respect I think Mr Google would be something like me: When it comes to telling anecdotes, no sooner does he launch into one, that he realises all he remembers is a few key words and a vague date. Yet for him that’s enough…

Jackson and Bubbles: last seen together at Versailles, 2008

Jackson and Bubbles: last seen together at Versailles, 2008


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One Response to “I am the human Google”

  1. ShanghaiCasey Says:

    He would, however, be incredibly useful at settling arguments and might be able to introduce us to Mr YouTube, who would be hours of fun for all the family!

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